20th Birthday: Feelings, Thoughts and Everything in Between

Yep, this girl just turned 20. Whaat. I’m no longer a teenager. So, does this mean I’m a real adult now?

Oh, how time flies by. For my 10th birthday, I think I had a BBQ in the back garden with a bunch of my family and friends. The older ones were lingering around the burning sausages and beef burgers having a good natter, while us kids were playing ‘volleyball’, i.e. throwing a ball back and forth over the washing line. This year, my 20th has been totally based around food – pizza, carvery, BBQ, birthday pancakes (heavenly) – so you could say nothing has really changed.

Taking a break from the food, I thought I’d reflect a little on turning the big 2 0. I started last decade naive as to knowing what my teenage years would bring. I was quiet, awkward, nerdy, and to be honest, I still am.

However, now I know I’m an introvert. I know I can seem awkward when I’m around new people. I know I like to read, write, learn new things. For the majority of the past decade, I let them aspects of myself knock my confidence. I can’t tell you how many opportunities I missed out on down to self-doubt and my anxious mind creating scenarios in which nothing turns out right. Now, while I’m still just as awkward and introverted, I’d like to think I push myself more and don’t let these aspects of myself hinder my progress.

My teenage years were normal I guess: I did okay at school, had a close-knit group of friends, learned about the joys of puberty. While yes, I admit my outfit choices were questionable (who the hell let me leave the house with neon pink jeans and a bright blue top?), I was just an awkward teenager.

So now, I’m waving goodbye to my teenage years as I step into my 20s where I guess I’m now considered a ‘real adult’. When did I get so old? You could say that judging by my pensioner-like characteristics – bed by 10 pm and won’t say no to a bit of day-time TV – that I should be accepting of my old age. On the other hand, a part of me still panics whenever I hear a knock on the door and wishes my mum could make all my doctors appointments for me. Anyone else?

Nonetheless, as daunting as it may seem, I’m excited about what the next stage of my life will bring. I have no idea where I’ll wind up in ten years. Most of us have a basic idea of where we’ll be at this point in our lives – at 20 I knew I’d be at university, I’d still be living at home etc. However, I have no idea what the next ten years hold. Where will I live? What will my job be? Will I have travelled? Who will I have met? Will I make any regrettable mistakes? I can hazard a guess and answer yes to the last one, but apart from that, it’s all unknown. I have two more years left of university and then I guess we’ll find out.

As I step into my 20s, I can say that I no longer care about what people think, and I intend to continue. Blogging over the last 2 months has helped me attain that –  life’s too short to let other people’s opinions of me and what I do hinder my progress and happiness. Adolescence is about discovery, learning about the world, making mistakes. In my 20s I want to take the mistakes and build from them.

Moreover, I know what I’m passionate about. Although I have no specific career path in mind, I want to start my 20s off by focusing on my writing, languages, blogging and push myself to be the best. As long as a spot of travelling is on the cards, I’m happy.

The majority of my 20th year will be spent living in Spain (eek), and I couldn’t think of a better way to enter my 20s. What’s that saying again? Begin as you mean to go on: exploring Madrid, speaking Spanish, meeting new people, embracing new surroundings – all these things which I hope will just be a fragment of a lifetime of experiences.

I can’t wait to see what my 20th year will hold.  I definitely haven’t mastered the art of keeping my blog posts short and sweet yet, but cohesiveness can be one of the things I work on. Thanks for reading my rambles, see you in the next post!

Evie

♥

(I’ve shared the recipe for these tasty pancakes over on my Instagram!)