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20th Birthday: Feelings, Thoughts and Everything in Between

Yep, this girl just turned 20. Whaat. I’m no longer a teenager. So, does this mean I’m a real adult now?

Oh, how time flies by. For my 10th birthday, I think I had a BBQ in the back garden with a bunch of my family and friends. The older ones were lingering around the burning sausages and beef burgers having a good natter, while us kids were playing ‘volleyball’, i.e. throwing a ball back and forth over the washing line. This year, my 20th has been totally based around food – pizza, carvery, BBQ, birthday pancakes (heavenly) – so you could say nothing has really changed.

Taking a break from the food, I thought I’d reflect a little on turning the big 2 0. I started last decade naive as to knowing what my teenage years would bring. I was quiet, awkward, nerdy, and to be honest, I still am.

However, now I know I’m an introvert. I know I can seem awkward when I’m around new people. I know I like to read, write, learn new things. For the majority of the past decade, I let them aspects of myself knock my confidence. I can’t tell you how many opportunities I missed out on down to self-doubt and my anxious mind creating scenarios in which nothing turns out right. Now, while I’m still just as awkward and introverted, I’d like to think I push myself more and don’t let these aspects of myself hinder my progress.

My teenage years were normal I guess: I did okay at school, had a close-knit group of friends, learned about the joys of puberty. While yes, I admit my outfit choices were questionable (who the hell let me leave the house with neon pink jeans and a bright blue top?), I was just an awkward teenager.

So now, I’m waving goodbye to my teenage years as I step into my 20s where I guess I’m now considered a ‘real adult’. When did I get so old? You could say that judging by my pensioner-like characteristics – bed by 10 pm and won’t say no to a bit of day-time TV – that I should be accepting of my old age. On the other hand, a part of me still panics whenever I hear a knock on the door and wishes my mum could make all my doctors appointments for me. Anyone else?

Nonetheless, as daunting as it may seem, I’m excited about what the next stage of my life will bring. I have no idea where I’ll wind up in ten years. Most of us have a basic idea of where we’ll be at this point in our lives – at 20 I knew I’d be at university, I’d still be living at home etc. However, I have no idea what the next ten years hold. Where will I live? What will my job be? Will I have travelled? Who will I have met? Will I make any regrettable mistakes? I can hazard a guess and answer yes to the last one, but apart from that, it’s all unknown. I have two more years left of university and then I guess we’ll find out.

As I step into my 20s, I can say that I no longer care about what people think, and I intend to continue. Blogging over the last 2 months has helped me attain that –  life’s too short to let other people’s opinions of me and what I do hinder my progress and happiness. Adolescence is about discovery, learning about the world, making mistakes. In my 20s I want to take the mistakes and build from them.

Moreover, I know what I’m passionate about. Although I have no specific career path in mind, I want to start my 20s off by focusing on my writing, languages, blogging and push myself to be the best. As long as a spot of travelling is on the cards, I’m happy.

The majority of my 20th year will be spent living in Spain (eek), and I couldn’t think of a better way to enter my 20s. What’s that saying again? Begin as you mean to go on: exploring Madrid, speaking Spanish, meeting new people, embracing new surroundings – all these things which I hope will just be a fragment of a lifetime of experiences.

I can’t wait to see what my 20th year will hold.  I definitely haven’t mastered the art of keeping my blog posts short and sweet yet, but cohesiveness can be one of the things I work on. Thanks for reading my rambles, see you in the next post!


(I’ve shared the recipe for these tasty pancakes over on my Instagram!)


  1. Happy birthday ☺️ I’m 21 and still take my mum to my many doctors appointment 😂
    Abi xx

    • eviejayne eviejayne

      Thank you! Haha glad I’m not alone 😂 thanks for reading! x

  2. abbiejadewanders abbiejadewanders

    I am so on board with the finally not caring what people think and knowing what I am passionate about and gosh they are so important. This is such a lovely read Evie – thankyou for sharing – I hope you had a splendid birthday! x

    • eviejayne eviejayne

      Yes it feels so good to stop worrying about other people’s opinions of me! Thank you so much, thanks for reading Abbie! x

    • eviejayne eviejayne

      Yeah it’s definitely scary, but I can’t wait to see what the future will hold! Thanks for reading x

  3. What an amazing post!!! I’m a few months away from 19, and this year, I’ve had very similar realisations about my age, personality, and because of that, I’ve seen growth in who I am as a person. Self-discovery is a scary thing, but often times, it allows us to better ourselves, and who doesn’t like that kind of positive change??

    • eviejayne eviejayne

      I couldn’t agree more – being young is all about self-discovery, and it feels great to finally know who I am and what I want to achieve in life. Thanks for reading! x

    • eviejayne eviejayne

      Ah thank you lovely! x

  4. Julia Julia

    Happy Birthday lovely, hope you have had the best day! I think it’s good to no longer care about what people think, your plan for your twenties sounds like a good idea too. Building on and learning from your mistakes sounds like you’re learning from the adolescent mistakes too. Good luck with your languages and blogging!

    • eviejayne eviejayne

      Thank you so much! Yeah being young is all about self-discovery and I can’t wait to see what the next few years hold. Thank you! x

  5. Happy 20th birthday!! It’s amazing how fast time flies by – you’ll feel it more as the years go by. I can totally relate to you about being awkward around new people. Hope you’ll have a kick-ass 20’s! It’s great that you don’t care about what people think. It doesn’t matter, haters gonna hate! Sounds like you’ll have an exciting celebration in Sprain!

    Nancy ♥

    • eviejayne eviejayne

      Thank you so much Nancy! I can’t wait to see what my 20s will bring. Ah I’m so excited! Thanks for reading x

  6. Ooh Happy Belated Birthday! It’s weird not being a teenager anymore huh? I remember thinking that was weird when I turned 20 – wait til you hit 30! 😂And yas to the not caring what people think vibes ✌️Hope your 20s bring you all the best x

    • eviejayne eviejayne

      Yess my teenage years flew by! Just excited to see what my 20s bring! Ahaha, thank you! x

  7. Happy (belated) birthday, Evie! I turned 21 earlier on this year, and believe me, you’re going to look back on turning 20 next year and feel like you’ve grown so much since then! I feel like I’m in a completely different place than I was when I was 20, too, but sometimes that is also just down to circumstance, I suppose!

    I hope you enjoyed your birthday 💗

    Beka |

    • eviejayne eviejayne

      Thank you Beka! Yeah I feel like as we get older we learn so much more about ourselves, especially when we’re becoming more independent. I just can’t wait to see what my 20s hold! Thank you 💖

  8. The best birthdays should always center around food! As for the doctors, I hate making appointments too – so much so I’ve been meaning to find a new doctor since I moved house in March and I still haven’t done it! (p.s happy birthday) x

    • eviejayne eviejayne

      Couldn’t agree more! Haha, they’re the worst right? Thank you! x

  9. Happy belated birthday! Wonderful to read, and an inspiration for a 16 year old like me – I hope I’m at a similar place to you turning 20! Also, any tips for blogging would be greatly appreciated, because I truly love reading your posts! Thankyou, lily (lilyinthemiddle) xx

    • eviejayne eviejayne

      Thank you! It’s amazing how much you learn as a teenager! I haven’t been blogging for long but what I can say is to just write about what you’re passionate about! My blog doesn’t have a niche and I just write everything and anything. Thanks for reading! x

  10. Happy Birthday!! I love that you no longer care about other people’s opinions. It’s something I’m really struggling with but I’ve got a couple more months till my 20th birthday so hopefully I’ll figure out how to live a carefree life by then xx

  11. Happy birthday! Very jealous of your 20th year plans, can’t wait to see the posts that come out of it xo

    • eviejayne eviejayne

      Ah thank you! I’m so excited! Can’t wait to post about my time there. Thanks for reading X

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